Do you have FOMO or JOMO? How to tell which mindset is driving you

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Ever feel a pang of anxiety when you see friends posting about a party you skipped? Or do you secretly relish a quiet evening at home, blissfully unconcerned with what you might be missing? Welcome to the spectrum between FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and JOMO (Joy of Missing Out). Understanding where you land can help you make choices that boost your well-being and authenticity.

What is FOMO?

FOMO is the pervasive apprehension that others might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent, often accompanied by a compulsive desire to stay connected and up-to-date with what others are doing. It’s rooted in our need to belong and is amplified by social media, which constantly showcases curated highlights from others’ lives. FOMO can lead to negative emotions like anxiety, restlessness, and low self-worth, and is linked to increased social media use, poor sleep, and even depression.

Signs you might have FOMO

• You say ‘yes’ to events or invitations even when you’re tired or uninterested, just to avoid missing out.

• You feel anxious, excluded, or dissatisfied when you see others having fun without you.

• You constantly check your phone for updates, notifications, or social media posts.

• You worry about others’ opinions, comparing your life to theirs and feeling you’re falling behind.

• You have a packed schedule, jumping from one activity or trend to the next, rarely feeling satisfied.

• You feel uncomfortable or lonely when you’re not surrounded by others or involved in group activities.

What is JOMO?

JOMO is the pleasure derived from living quietly or independently without feeling anxious that one is missing out on exciting or interesting events that may be happening elsewhere. It’s about being present, content, and intentional with your time - choosing what truly matters to you and letting go of the pressure to keep up. JOMO is not just about missing out, but about actively enjoying it.

Signs you might have JOMO

• You genuinely enjoy staying in and savoring your own company, without feeling guilty or left out.

• You don’t feel compelled to check social media constantly or worry about missing updates.

• You prioritize activities that bring you joy and align with your values, even if they’re ‘uncool’ or solitary.

• You can say ‘no’ to invitations or trends without guilt, because you know what’s right for you.

• You feel gratitude and satisfaction with your current experiences, rather than longing for what others are doing.

• You’re present in the moment, focusing on your own needs and well-being instead of external validation.

How to shift from FOMO to JOMO

• Reflect on your motivations: Are you doing things because you want to, or because you feel you should?

• Set boundaries: Practice saying ‘no’ to invitations that don’t excite you.

• Limit social media: Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison or anxiety, and take regular digital breaks.

• Prioritize what matters: Spend time on activities and with people who spark genuine joy.

• Practice gratitude: Focus on what you have, not what you lack.

• Embrace the present: Engage in mindfulness to help ground yourself in the now.

FOMO and JOMO aren’t fixed traits - they’re mindsets you can nurture or shift. If you notice more anxiety, comparison, and restlessness in your life, you might be leaning toward FOMO. If you feel peaceful, grounded, and satisfied with your choices, you’re embracing JOMO. The good news? With awareness and intention, you can move toward the joy of missing out - finding fulfillment in the life you’re actually living.

Sources

JOMO: Joy of missing out and its association with social media use
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2772503023000142

How to ditch 'fomo' and foster 'jomo' – the joy of missing out
https://www.durham.ac.uk/research/current/thought-leadership/2023/03/how-to-ditch-fomo-and-foster-jomo--the-joy-of-missing-out/

Forget FOMO. Embrace JOMO to discover the joy of missing out
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2024/01/04/fomo-jomo-joy-missing-out/

FOMO, JOMO, and the Impact of Social Media on Mental Health
https://animosanopsychiatry.com/fomo-jomo-and-the-impact-of-social-media-on-mental-health/

Forget FOMO Choose JOMO - American Heart Association
https://www.heart.org/en/healthy-living/healthy-lifestyle/mental-health-and-wellbeing/forget-fomo-choose-jomo

Fear of missing out: A brief overview of origin, theoretical...
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8283615/