Week 1: Art of unbecoming

Begin by sitting quietly and asking yourself: Who was I before the world told me who I should be? This week is about recognizing that authenticity isn’t about adding more to yourself, it’s about removing what was never truly yours to begin with.

The Unbecoming Philosophy

Most personal development focuses on becoming: becoming more confident, more successful, more disciplined. But what if the path to your truest self requires unbecoming instead? Unbecoming is the process of consciously releasing the roles, beliefs, and behaviors that you’ve accumulated but that don’t serve your authentic expression.

Think of it like a sculptor working with marble. Michelangelo said he didn’t create David, he simply removed everything that wasn’t David. Your authentic self already exists beneath the layers of should be’s, have to’s, and supposed to’s.

Societal Expectations

The messages about who you should be based on your gender, age, profession, or social position

Family Patterns

The inherited beliefs and behaviors passed down through generations

Personal Adaptations

The masks you’ve worn to fit in, be accepted, or avoid conflict

Exercise 1: Identity Audit

Create three columns on a piece of paper

Column 1: What I think I should be

Column 2: What others expect me to be

Column 3: What feels most natural to me

Fill out each column honestly. Notice where there are conflicts between columns 1 & 2 and column 3.

Exercise 2: Childhood Self Meditation

Spend 10 minutes in quiet reflection, imagining yourself as a child before age 10. What did you love? What felt natural? What brought you joy without any external validation needed? Write down these observations.

Exercise 3: The Energy Check

Throughout the week, notice when you feel energized versus drained. Make note of:

Which activities make you feel alive

Which conversations leave you feeling authentic

Which environments support your natural way of being

Which obligations feel forced or unnatural

Weekly Practice

Each morning, ask yourself: What can I not do today that would make me feel more like myself? Sometimes unbecoming is as simple as not forcing yourself into ill-fitting situations.

What masks do I wear most often, and why?

When do I feel most like my authentic self?

What would I do differently if I stopped trying to meet others’ expectations?

What patterns or behaviors feel inherited rather than chosen?

Write a letter to yourself acknowledging one thing you’re ready to stop pretending to be or do. This isn’t about dramatic life changes, it’s about gentle awareness and permission to be more authentically you.